What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
