I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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