is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
