You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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