The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
