I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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