I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
