You work out of a Hotel?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I have aggressive nipples.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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