He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
