i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
