She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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