can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
