They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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