He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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