If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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