She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
