How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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