I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
