Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
