I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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