Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
