Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
