At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
