yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
