Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
