You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
