PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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