dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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