i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
