Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
