i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
