i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
