so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
