We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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