It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
