I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Randomize
