she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
