I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
