All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I look better un-naked...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
