Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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