I murdered the dance floor call the cops
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
