so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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