pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
