her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
