I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
