If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize