what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
