The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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