so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
