i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
