I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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