Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
