Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Sober January is a disaster.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
