i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I've blown a few things in my day
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
